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Do you ever have problems getting off to sleep, or do you ever get up for the loo and have difficulty getting back to sleep again? An effective technique that may help is to ‘park’ your unfinished business before you go to bed. To do this simply take a piece of paper and write down all the things that are occupying your mind before you go to bed. Some people also find it helpful to list all the things they have to do the following day. Once you have finished, ‘park’ the list in another room and if you need to, refer to it again in the morning. The effect of this exercise is to clear your unconscious mind to allow you to fully rest your body and your mind. Alastair Taylor
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| 2. Quote |
"If you have accomplished all that you have planned for yourself, you have not planned enough" Edward
Everett Hale (1822-1909, American Unitarian Clergyman, Writer) |
3. Book Review "Stress Management" by Edward Charlesworth and Ronald Nathan |
I recommend this book to my clients on a regular basis. The reason for this is that it looks at all the common themes found in stress related problems and breaks them down into manageable chunks. It doesn't blind you with science, it just gives you practical things to do and to think about in terms of how you are living your life and the things you might want to think about changing. Another thing I like about this book is that you can easily dip in and out of it - if there is an area of your life you want to focus on e.g. anger control, assertiveness, relaxation etc. you can read that section alone, you don't have to read the whole book from cover to cover to get the idea (a common stressor when you have limited time!) The first 3 chapters focus on understanding stress; how you respond to it, the challenges it provides and discovering where it comes from. The next chapter looks at the various options for beginning to manage your own stress. Chapters 5-10 cover different aspects of relaxation from progressive relaxation, scanning your body for tension and breathing for relaxation, to imagery training. Chapters 11-12 look at specific stressors. Recognising your own stress response, and having found a particular stressor you want to target, it takes you through a process of tackling that stressor. Chapters 13-17 break your stressful behaviours, thoughts and attitudes into manageable chunks. Areas like life changes, how to reduce your physical risk (coronary heart disease), taking the stress out of what you tell yourself, anxiety and anger are covered here. Chapters 18-20 discuss assertiveness which is often omitted from stress management books, even although I think it is something that is an integral part of managing stress. How do you manage your workload if you can't say no to people? If criticism is something that floors you for days, how can you expect to improve your performance? Chapter 21 looks at time management, another weak point for many of us. It focuses on what you can do, and how to avoid the common pitfalls e.g."time robbers". Chapters 22-23 look at exercise and nutrition, again these are good chapters to dip in and out of (although you might be better off going to the pool!) Finally chapter 24 looks at putting all of this knowledge together, having realistic goals, how to pick yourself up again, keeping motivated etc. It sounds like it might be the kind of book that you need an extra bag for, it isn't. Its a paperback and is small enough to carry around. One word of caution: Reading this book alone is unlikely to manage your stress!! Like all the other stress management techniques it is one thing knowing about them and quite another to actually turn it into stress management. If you are tempted to buy it, plan to use the techniques too!! But remember, you can dip in and out of it, so reading the chapter relevant to you and doing something about that particular aspect could do the trick. By Jan Lawrence |
I don’t know about you but I have definitely been suffering from PWT (Pre War Tension). I have always prided myself in my ability to worry. I can worry about not having anything to worry about. But war is something different, on a different level. I worry that we are doing the wrong thing. I worry that we should be striving for peace. I worry about the future of Europe. I worry about George Bush and his motives. I worry about the United Nations and that we have decided that we don’t need them. I worry about the Iraqis and the fate of the Middle East. I worry about the consequences, particularly in terms of terrorism. And I worry that there’s something that Tony’s not telling us, and about why he’s not telling us. Is there a cure? They don’t make it easy for worriers like me. The media is full of it. I remember 9/11. It was a terrible event. I could tell you exactly where I was when it happened. What worried me (there I go again) most was the aftermath. They showed the planes hitting the towers and them collapsing again and again and again. I couldn’t help thinking that this is what it must be like living with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, where people constantly re-live the traumatic experience. Only this time the whole world was perpetually reliving the event, whether it liked it or not. Well the whole world with television anyway, which let’s face it is most of it. Yes, perhaps for worriers, the information age has its downside, and that is its sheer overload, ‘always on’ nature. We use an exercise on workshops called ‘stop, relax, listen’, the point of which is to bring yourself back to the present moment. And in the present moment it is a misty early Clackmannanshire morning in mid-March. The birds are singing in the back garden. And just for a moment I have forgotten about my PWT. Then I make the foolish mistake of putting the radio on… Alan Bradshaw |
| 5. The Psychology of Achievement by Brian Tracy |
This is the second psychology cassette programme that I ever bought. Over the years many patients, including executives, who wanted to improve their performance in all areas of their lives, have bought their own copies and moved in the direction of their self-actualisation, that is the actual selves they want to be. This programme helps anyone from a teenager to the highest achiever and professional. The programme consists of six cassettes and a workbook. Cassette One deals with the Positive Self-Concept. It talks about the success instinct which has six ingredients and many of us have some of them, but very few have all of them. It asks questions like what are the laws governing our beliefs, and expectations? How do these beliefs shape our attitudes and thus determine outcomes? It teaches us how to develop unshakeable selff-confidence. Cassette Two deals with Accepting Responsibility and Taking Charge. This cassette helps one to reduce negative emotions, to increase the E.Q., the Emotional Quotient. It has a seven-step method to reduce worry and shows how successful people think, as well as how to act calmy in difficult situations. It deals with the problems of colleagues who chuck stress and those who metaphorically catch it. It also deals with denial, the process by which individuals and organisations avoid dealing with their problems. The third cassette deals with Programming for Success, and includes techniques for changing unhelpful belief structures as well as techniques which were originally used in sports psychology such as visualisation combined with affirmations. The fourth cassette deals with Goal Setting and Goal Achieving with a twelve point method. Also how to attain balance in your three main goal areas, and advice on time management. The fifth cassette deals with Creative Problem Solving and Decision Making. Finally cassette six, and the programme is worth it for this cassette alone, is on Superior Human Relationships in all areas of your life, including resolving family difficulties. Apparently one American 400 company bought one thousand two hundred copies of this programme. If you are interested in buying this or any other programme from Nightingale Conant, remember you can get their programmes on a thirty day trial period. Dr. D. Mason Brown.
To buy or get more information on 'The Psychology of Achievement', click here. |
| 6. Readers Stress Story |
Don’t be afraid to relax at work! About 6 months ago an older colleague of mine told me that I should relax more and pointed out that I frequently ate my lunch at my desk on my own. “You should come for a short walk with me and some of the lads” he told me “It does you good to relax for half an hour or so”. It wasn’t a long conversation but it got me thinking about how I tended to keep my guard up at all times. For some reason I had a fear that if I relaxed and let my guard down, even for a short time, and something bad was to happen at that time then I would be unable to cope with it. It was almost as if the act of letting my guard down would actually cause something bad to happen. When I sat and thought about it I realised that many years before just such an experience occurred. I could remember having a chat and a joke with some colleagues at lunch time when my bosses boss phoned me from head office and asked for some figures he urgently needed for a meeting he was about to go to. The result was that I panicked; I knew that I should be able to give him the figures easily but I couldn’t find the right file, to make matters worse my colleagues were aware of who was on the phone and sat in silence watching me struggle to find the information. Things went from bad to worse as my bosses boss began to get impatient and one of my colleagues tried to help me find the information. The episode ended with my bosses boss having to go to his meeting as he could wait no longer and me ending up in a cold sweat knowing I had looked foolish and incompetent to both my bosses boss and to my colleagues. Reflecting on this I am sure this is what started me being afraid to relax at work. However looking back at the experience seemed to help as I realised that the whole thing was a storm in a teacup which was almost certainly forgotten about by everyone involved within a few minutes, except me who dwelled on it for days. I am no psychologist, but I think this recollection which was triggered by my older colleague, brought me to my senses. I started to relax at break times and mixed with people to have a laugh and take my mind off work for a while. I have discussed this with a number of people and found that I am not the only one who has had difficulty relaxing at work for no apparent reason. I wonder how many other people get everyday experiences out of proportion the way I did and suffer from it for years.
"Stressed Eric" Thank you! The book of the month is on it's way to you! Do you have a story that you would like to send into us for the next copy of 'In Equilibrium'? Perhaps you have a good idea about combating stress at work, maybe you have an experience that you think others would learn from? We are looking for any of your experiences, humourous or deadly serious, signed or anonymous! We will print the best story in the next In Equilibrium, if your story is printed we will send you a copy of the book we reviewed this month. |
Here is a quick experiment for you to try.... Focus on how you feel each time you change your posture/expression in this exercise. Try each stance one at a time, take your time and tune into subtle feelings and changes:
If you would agree that another person can read your emotion by looking at your body and the way you hold yourself, it follows that your body is helping you to create the emotion. Our facial expression and our body language can actually help to create our feelings. We don't feel empowered crouching in a corner, and it is difficult to cry while standing firmly to attention. Have you ever noticed a person's common facial expression tends to show in the lines of their face when they are relaxed? It may be a scowl, or laughter lines around the eyes, or a creased forehead. As our posture and facial expressions become more habitual, our feeling states may become less spontaneous as well. You might be good at making the jokes and having a laugh, but not so practised at being thoughtful, or you might be very good at being sad, but less able to get into action mode. Like any habit, the more we become rooted in it the more our options become limited. Becoming aware of our habits is the first step- then we can start to work out how to choose new responses. Why not have a go at a different posture from usual? Try out a few different facial expressions and notice the difference to the way that you feel. As we learn to recognize how our behaviour influences our emotions we can start to become completely responsible for our emotions. We start to control our habits rather than them controlling us! By Jan Lawrence |
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Copyright 2002 Equilibrium Associates Limited. |