Funny how American
writers always have to have the middle initial. Mine’s a P. just in case you’re
interested (I know you’re not).
This is one of the most famous personal development books ever written
and has since spawned a veritable industry – leadership training, time
management systems, you name it. In
a way that’s a shame because it dilutes the power of the original
work.
I think it’s a great
book. I like it because it tells us
the truth; and the truth is that personal development and growth is an internal
job, and there are no quick fixes.
There are many who would have us believe that learning a few specialised
techniques will transform our lives, and enable us to become ‘master
practitioners’ of communication.
They are wrong. These
‘techniques’ will only impress other ‘master practitioners.’ Everyone else will
think you’re strange.
The seven habits are fundamental truths, and as Covey explains them, you can feel quite uncomfortable as you remember the many times you did the opposite with painful human consequences. The ideas are powerful and have become part of our language now e.g. the win-win, being proactive. My favourite is ‘the emotional bank account.’ This is the truth that we have to invest in relationships for them to bear fruit. How often do we forget that one, even with the people that we love?!
HOW TO GET GOOD QUALITY SLEEP
It’s Saturday morning, the end of a truly awful week at work, one where your boss has exhibited all the charm of Jabba the Hut. The morning of your brother’s wedding. Late! The cat’s eaten something he shouldn’t have; there’s something truly disgusting in your mother-in-law’s hat. What possessed her to leave it on the floor? The only alternative hat-like thing you have is your son’s Darth Vadar mask (quite appropriate you think in one of your less charitable moments).
Your husband, style guru that he is, is wearing yellow socks (YELLOW!). Where is the cab?! You phone them again. ‘It’s on its way madam.’ It was the last time. You decide to wait by the side of the road. Bad decision given the plethora of muddy puddles. But at last with a screeching of breaks the cab arrives, a Vauxhall Nova. Your mother-in-law has a look on her face bordering on contempt as she squeezes her 21 stone frame into the passenger seat. The mini-cab coughs and splutters its way into the traffic. ‘It’s OK luv I know a short cut’ the driver barks as he veers left. You thank god for seat belts. Without them your mother-in-law would now be on top of the driver. You shudder at the thought. The journey is one of abject terror in a state of confinement, and you stagger out of the cab feeling physically sick at one minute to twelve. You, husband and son run, and your mother-in-law wobbles, into the church. No one there! It’s the wrong St. John’s.
Stress. It happens to all of us. Sometimes it seems that pressure, demands and insecurity are all increasing. There is no doubt that the rate of change is greater than it's ever been, but is this a problem or an opportunity? If it's a problem what can be done to reverse the trend?
Next time – IT’S SOCIAL LIFE JIM BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT. See you then.
POSITIVE SELF TALK
Once you have your negative thinking under control start to energise
and motivate yourself through positive self-talk and the use of
'affirmations'. Think of yourself as your own coach. Each day review
the challenges before you and ask yourself what you can do to encourage yourself
if the going gets tough.
Think about and write down the words and phrases you know will
encourage and motivate you. Make up
your own affirmations and get into the habit of repeating them to yourself
throughout the day. Health
affirmations such as ‘every day in every way I am feeling better and better’
help people to recover from illness quicker. You can use the same technique to
maintain a positive attitude and improve your performance. Keep telling yourself that your best is
good enough, and remember to give yourself a pat on the back when things go
well, too often we focus on our shortcomings and ignore the good work we
do.
What we think about influences how we feel and we always perform
better when we feel good about ourselves.
Learn to control your emotions, don’t let your emotions control you. When things go well allow yourself to
feel excited and enthusiastic about your achievements. Experiencing positive emotion builds
your self-confidence and your self-esteem.
If things do go wrong take a dispassionate view of the
situation. Do not recriminate
over mistakes, the person who never made a mistake never made anything. Focus on the facts and concentrate on
what you can learn from the experience and use that knowledge to improve your
future performance.
Think
of your confidence and self-esteem levels as you would your bank balance. Through your behaviour and the way you
choose to react to events you can either add deposits to that bank balance or
make withdrawals. Each time you
encourage yourself and experience positive emotions you are increasing your
confidence by making deposits.
Every time you experience negative emotions you reduce your confidence by
making a withdrawal.