Question
My company have announced that they are going to be making 70 people redundant within the next year.  We have not been told who is going to be made redundant or the dates it may happen.  I am very worried and think about it all the time.  It has got to the point where I am finding it difficult to sleep at night or to be motivated at work.  How can I be more resilient during this very difficult time? 

Answer by Dr Angela Brown
This is a very common question that I have been asked again and again during the current economic situation.  Living with uncertainty can make a person think more negatively than they would do ordinarily.  Unfortunately the more uncertainty there is the likelihood of negative thinking, thus pessimism, increases.  Being pessimistic decreases your resilience, so, the first thing you could do to decrease the negativity and start to think more optimistically is to reframe the situation.  Optimism is one of the most important of the resilience factors.  I am not talking about pie in the sky, bury your head in the sand optimism, no, I am talking about realistic optimism.  Your ability to reframe the situation and see the change in a different way is a crucial first step.

You could reframe the situation by thinking there is absolutely nothing you can do about the redundancies, they are going to happen so I am not going to worry about whether or not it is going to be me.  I will take this opportunity to update my CV and think about other jobs that I may be suitable for in the future.  By simply reframing the situation it puts you into a more optimistic mind frame and allows you to start to have some control over the situation.  Remember, you cannot change the situation, but you can change how you react to it.

Reframing will automatically take you to another important resilience skill called causal analysis, simply put it means problem solving.  This means looking at a problem from different perspectives and looking at the bigger picture.  Again, you will start to think you have more control over your situation and certainly begin to feel less anxious and more optimistic.  Once again, if you were to look at using the skill of causal analysis in your situation you could think about where to send your CV, think outside of the box.  There are many sites that you could send your CV off to.  So rather than wait to be told your fate, you’re taking your future into your own hands.  If you have thought about starting your own business or becoming self-employed you could think about how to do this.

Importantly having the ability to control your impulses is paramount to becoming more resilient.  Being able to stop and think without reacting hastily allows you to resolve problems and stops you from becoming irrational in a rational situation.  Therefore, stepping away from your situation without reacting will help re-balance your thinking.

Reaching out is another of the resilience skills which is important for two reasons.  Firstly, having a good social support network will help you cope with the feelings of uncertainty.   So talking to friends and family about what you’re thinking and feeling will help during anxious times.  Secondly, ask for support from whatever your company has in place.  If you feel comfortable speaking to your manager then this is a good starting point.  This will allow the rapport between your manager and yourself to increase which will, in turn, foster a more trusting environment.
 
Finally, the art of emotional regulation which is another of the resilience skills is crucial for lots of reasons.  I do not mean detach from the situation and don’t think about it.  This is counterproductive because the more you can engage in the situation the more you will remain connected and motivated.  Therefore staying engaged can be difficult when all you want to do is forget about it.  It is important to know what you’re feeling then manage those feelings appropriately.  If you’re feeling angry then that is okay, however, you will have to manage that anger in a safe way.  If you’re feeling despondent then this will lead to a lack of motivation which will show itself in lots of ways, for example, you may start to feel like not updating your CV or looking for alternative work as a result of this despondency.  Once again, it is okay to feel despondent, however you must manage that despondency in order to problem solve and become more optimistic.

Feelings of despondency can also lead to a lowering of your self- efficacy.  Self-efficacy is all about your belief systems and your confidence.  The more you believe you have no control over a situation, and that “others” control you, the more at risk you are of becoming less confident.  My advice is simple.  If you cannot change your situation and you have tried lots of different ways to change it, then accept the situation and find a way of problem solving.  When you start to problem solve your self-esteem and confidence will start to increase.  If you go into a situation thinking you won’t be able to do it, for example looking for a new job, chances are you won’t.  If you think you can, chances are you will.  It’s like Mark Twain said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t you’re probably right”.

Finally, bear in mind that change can be a positive thing if thought of differently, and that everything passes.


Question
“Conflict resolution depends on all parties involved volunteering to take part. Do you have any advice on what to do when one party will not engage?”

Answer by Andy Mason
This is a very interesting question and for me speaks to the heart of an equally important question “What do we mean by conflict resolution?”  Answering this question impacts on how we think and ultimately the choices we have when conflict is present. 

We can draw a simple continuum representing ways to resolve conflict, from forceful intervention up one end (Iraq anyone?) to people working with equal control towards deep understanding (often characteristic of conflict transformation processes – South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission?) at the other.  Somewhere in the middle we find adjudication, arbitration and negotiation.  The difference between the last three and transformation can be illustrated thus: in adjudication, arbitration or negotiation you start at 1 and I start at 10 and we might settle at 5.  In transformation the possible end ‘settlements’ are neither discernable nor a priority at the outset.  Instead the focus is on the process, so you start at 1, I start at 10 and we settle on a banana! One that we create together and we all own.

So what do you do if one party won’t engage? 

Someone who sees conflict as ‘human nature’ and that ‘bad’ people need controlling might find a way to threaten them with disciplinary action if they don’t ‘volunteer’!  [When the ‘human nature’ source of conflict has come up in the various parts of the world I have worked I usually reply ‘whose human nature, yours?’ to which the answer is invariably ‘No!’  So I am yet to find the person responsible for all the conflict humans experience.] 

Someone believing in the ‘human side of the workplace’ (and most modern, humanistic-minded managers, negotiators and mediators would fall into this category) would value talking to the parties and finding out what’s happening and why, before trying to find solutions to problems in order to gain involvement.

So how would a conflict transformation approach differ?  In my experience a core value we all have is to be truly heard, often by a certain individual.  By truly heard I mean for another to really ‘get’ how things are for us – without putting their advice, judgement or evaluation in the way.  This process is real empathy.  Once it is present not only can strategies be found to honestly address the needs of the reluctant individual, but also, without fail, their own relationship with the situation changes.  Into what?  We don’t know till it happens – hence the banana!  Sound unusual and unlikely?  Yes, that’s what the team in Beirut said as I trained them to work with Iraqi refugees.  ‘Just listen with empathy?  They’ll want money and blankets!’  Six months later their reports of the changes they had seen in the women they had originally found reluctant in their refugee accommodation were remarkable.  The refugees said having someone to really hear them had truly made a difference.

So what of the workplace?  A raft of management thinking from Maslow to Emotional Intelligence supports the notion that people are motivated to meet their needs, such as acknowledgement, control and safety.  Helping people meet their needs, through empathy, is much more likely to stimulate their buy-in.  I have lost count of the number of times parties entering mediation have initially said to me ‘I just want it sorted!  There’s no way I want to speak to them!’  only to find that having their needs heard by me has given the safety and listening they needed to go forwards.

And another thought – having empathy for the other party also shifts their view too.  If you can let go of being attached to the outcome remarkable things always happen.  Bananas!

Question
“Do you have any tips which would help me get out of bed on the first alarm in the morning, rather than stealing another ten minutes in the warm, which is enough to throw my morning routine out of kilter?”

Answer by Dr David Mason Brown
The first thing to remember in answering this question is that we are all individuals and what works for one will not work for all.

The important question to ask yourself is are you getting enough sleep for you and is your sleep quality good enough?  Individual needs can vary from as little as 4 hours for 13% of the adult population to as much as 10 hours for 2%.  GP’s acknowledge the condition TATT (tired all the time) and it is estimated that a quarter of the working population age group is chronically tired.  So it is important to know how much sleep you need and make a plan to ensure you get it.

Another thing to bear in mind is that well-being plays an important part in sleep need.  For example, if an individual is getting things right regarding the well-being aspects of their life their sleep need may reduce from say 7 or 8 hours to 6 or 7 hours.  Conversely, if the well-being elements of their life are less good, they will become more tired and their sleep need may increase to 8 or 9 hours.   

The quality of your sleep is an important factor as to how well rested you will feel in the morning.  Four hours of deep sleep is required if you are to feel really refreshed.  Excess adrenaline and not being able to switch off reduces this so, if necessary, take exercise to use the adrenaline up and try to follow a calming ritual before you go to sleep – some find a warm bath soothing, others may read a book or relax listening to music.  One chap found that reading a violent thriller and drinking his only cup of coffee of the day worked wonderfully for him, so this may involve a little trial and error!

Another thing to consider is whether you are a morning or an evening person.  If you are someone who finds activity easy in the evening but really doesn’t function very well in the morning, you could try to switch some of the tasks you know you have to do before leaving the house to the previous evening, thus cutting down the time you need to get ready the following morning … allowing a valuable extra few minutes under the covers.

Finally, studies have revealed that daylight plays an important part in our ability to throw back the covers and spring into action.  At this time of year many of us may be affected by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  Some people I have spoken to have found that alarm clocks which artificially simulate a gradual daylight into your room have made an enormous difference to their waking ability.  But like all the other suggestions here, this will work for some and not others – perhaps you could monitor if it makes a difference for you naturally, as the lighter mornings and spring are hopefully just around the corner!