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How do you deal with unwanted change?


When you hear about an unwanted change which is beyond your control your initial reaction may be to kick against it, feeling angry, perhaps even confused and fearful that such a change can be imposed upon you without your permission.  This is normal and understandable but learning to deal with something you perceive as a negative change is an important tool for your overall wellbeing.

The first step you can take is to accept that this change is beyond your control and that dealing with it is going to be a process which you won’t be able to just switch off your feelings about.  Instead of expending more energy getting anxious about the change, try to clarify what it is that leaves you feeling fearful or uneasy.  Writing down these feelings will be helpful.  You can then re-read them over a period of days and look for some benefits, opportunities or something positive you could do as a result of the change.  And remember the old saying “a problem shared”, discuss your thoughts with a trusted colleague, friend or family member; they may see something you have missed.

Choosing to feel comfortable about accepting the change is likely to help calm your mind which, in turn, can lead to positive thoughts.  Put bluntly, the alternative is to do nothing, see the change as a setback, play the blame game or launch an unwinnable war of non-acceptance.  This will result in negative thoughts which both block your creativity and your problem-solving ability, not to mention the damage they do to your overall wellbeing.

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it”
Mary Engelbreit

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