Home / Resources / Realistic Optimism

Realistic Optimism

Learning Realistic Optimism

Here is an extract from our Developing Personal Resilience training course about learning to become more optimistic.

Highly resilient people have a realistic, optimistic view of the world.  This optimism is not fantastical it is based in reality.  They persist in seeking goals despite obstacles and setbacks.  They tend to operate from hope of success rather than fear of failure.  Setbacks are viewed as due to manageable circumstance rather than personal flaw.

Learning how to become more optimistic

Even the most pessimistic thinker can learn to become more optimistic.  The following 4 steps will help develop a more positive attitude.

Step 1:   Get into the habit of thinking with a positive attitude

Step 2:   Become more aware of your self-talk

What stories do you tell yourself when things start to go wrong?  Negative self-talk without doubt influences our subconscious mind.  The more aware you become of the negative self talk, the better chance you have of reframing and using more of a positive self-talk.

Step 3:   Ask yourself better questions

One of the most effective and quickest ways to improve the quality of your self-talk is to ask yourself better questions.

Examples:

Instead of asking yourself  “Why does this always happen to me?”

Replace with “What do I need to learn from this situation so it does not happen to me again?”

Instead of asking yourself  “Why am I feeling so depressed?”

Replace with “What do I need to do to have more energy and enthusiasm?”

Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, asking better questions will improve your attitude.  It sounds simple, and it is simple.

Step 4:   Always set positive goals 

Goals are dreams with legs and can be used to create a positive attitude.  Try to always set goals in the positive.

Negative goal: “I will not eat any unhealthy foods and will keep away from sweet things.” 

Positive version:  “I enjoy eating healthy, low calorie foods and will eat this way for the next month.” 

Positive psychology research has found that focussing on a positive goal is much more effective than focussing on a negative goal!

Exercise

Using a challenging scenario you are familiar with, think about the negative self talk you may have used in the past and write down if you could have asked yourself better questions.

Think about your challenging scenario:

Write down the best case scenario here…

 

How likely? (1-5)

 

 

Write down the worst case scenario here…

 

How likely? (1-5)

 

 

 

Solutions…

 

Read more about our Resilience courses

Recent articles on our blog....

Pink cherry blossom flowers on tree

Spring into the latest edition of our newsletter which aims to help improve worker wellbeing

May 2, 2025

This edition includes tips on the lemonade mindset and creating a culture of mattering at work.

Read More →
A completed puzzle of many different coloured pieces with small figures standing on it to symbolise inclusion and exclusion.

Some recent external resources relating to worker wellbeing

April 28, 2025

Our Spring round up of external resources focuses on 5 which highlight the worker wellbeing and business benefits that building an inclusive workplace for all can bring.

Read More →
Lemon fruit on brown wooden table

Resilience Tip – Have You Tried a ‘Lemonade Mindset’?

April 28, 2025

A look at what a lemonade mindset is, along with some practical examples of how it may benefit us at work as well as in life generally.

Read More →

Testimonials

ineq-about-us-150x150

Our purpose is to provide training and consultancy services to enhance resilience, health and wellbeing in the workplace.

ineq-ethos-values-150x150

Differentiation is one of the most strategic and tactical activities in which companies most constantly engage

ineq-faqs-150x150

It's natural to have questions about training and how it fits with your organisation. Our FAQs can help you find out more.

ineq-case-studies-150x150

View case studies for some of the in-house training courses we have delivered to different types of organisations across the UK.