Sympathy, Empathy & Compassion at work – what’s the difference?

Let’s begin with the definitions*

Sympathy - sharing another’s emotions, especially of sorrow or anguish; pity; compassion
Empathy – the ability to share another person’s feelings and emotions as if they were your own
Compassion – a feeling of distress and pity for the suffering or misfortune of another, often including the desire to alleviate it

*All taken from Collins English Dictionary

What place do sympathy, empathy and compassion have in the workplace?

It may be obvious that each has its place in a workplace setting for no other reason than to show humanity. However, understanding the differences and distinction between them is crucial for picking the right approach to use in an individual situation. For example,

• A member of your team’s house has been flooded. You may choose to offer sympathy – it’s not a situation you or anyone close to you has personally experienced but you want them to know you have heard what they are experiencing and that you feel sorrow for their distress.
• You hear a colleague’s partner has been unexpectedly made redundant. Five years ago, your partner lost their job without any warning. You may choose to empathise with them as you clearly remember the situation and repercussions on your own life and feel you can relate to your colleague with a more profound level of understanding.
• For either of the above examples, you may alternatively choose to offer compassion. Although, you may or may not have experienced the person’s misfortune or state of mind, you are concerned they are suffering and want to show you have a motivation to offer any practical help you and/or the organisation can offer to help alleviate their suffering.

How might each be received in the workplace?

As we all feel our life experiences differently, reactions can be varied. Our delivery of sympathy, empathy or compassion will also have an effect on the way they are received. However, as a brief guide:

Sympathy – is not necessarily considered helpful in a workplace setting as, although it can offer an element of comfort, it can also feel distant, patronising and that the recipient is being pitied or even looked down upon. Active rather than passive sympathy (e.g. being sent a message, card or token gift rather than, or to follow up on, a brief expression of sorrow), may have the effect of the recipient feeling more included and heard.

Empathy – considered as a more helpful response than sympathy in a workplace setting. Taking time to display empathy can lead to the recipient feeling the focus is on them as a whole person rather just a cog in the organisational wheel. This can lead to better connections in the workplace with mutual respect and has positive effects on performance both individually and within groups and teams reaching their full potential.

Compassion - leads to feelings of connection whether or not the recipient feels their manager or colleague has experienced a similar suffering or misfortune. The recipient feels they have been listened to and facilitated with a plan for support or some practical steps to assist them find a solution to their problem or circumstance.